The Little Death
by RoseSauvage
Summary: Driven by revenge, Rey tries – and fails – to murder Kylo Ren. Rey/Kylo Ren.


A/N: This is the first meeting between Rey and Kylo Ren where Rey's intention to kill Kylo gets turned on its head. Contains graphic sex!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Star Wars.

* * *

Rey darts through the trees towards the faint lights of an encampment half a mile through the forest. She can discern the upper wings of a Command Shuttle clearing the top of the trees.

She was supposed to depart this system already – hours ago, but news from a villager of First Order activity grabbed her curiosity. News of _him_ grabbed her curiosity.

She feels a pull – she knows he is on-planet. Rey was halfway between her X-wing and the First Order before she even stopped to consider her actions.

Realistically speaking, attempting to catch Kylo Ren off guard is moronic at best. Just as she sensed him, he could do the same for her. It was almost a guarantee that he knew she was nearby. But – this opportunity was too great to let pass.

So she waits, hours, with no noise from Kylo Ren or the First Order troops at her location. Confident that he perhaps didn't think she was worth the time, Rey continues onward.

At the base of the command shuttle, two stormtroopers guard the open ship. _Too easy._ Rey reaches her mind out and turned the guards' heads as she runs up the gangplank.

She is in.

Having been unconscious for her first and only trip on a Command Shuttle, Rey relies on the Force to guide her. It's hardly necessary, however, as the Shuttle immediately opens to a main cockpit area and a door to what looks like a cargo hold at the belly of the ship.

There's luckily no one at the helm.

It's the cargo door that calls her. Rey knows he's inside; a maelstrom of emotional chaos pulls her towards him like a black hole. It must be the dark side of the force since it's impossible to miss. The door automatically swooshes open as she nears it.

It's obviously been modified from whatever a standard Command Shuttle should be. The door opens to an office with a dark recess space behind the desk. Like the rest of the ship, it's bordering on cramped. She's only a foot or so shorter than the ceiling. With two steps, she's in the middle of the room, poised by the chair in front of the desk.

The door automatically closes, and the room's lights fade on to a low dim. It's enough for her to see to the end of the room.

Rey freezes. He's asleep on a bed in the alcove.

 _There's no way._

In slumber, he looks so very much like his father – strong nose, defined chin. It's been months, but the scar is all edges on his face, a purplish slash that pulls his expression into a permanent scowl even in sleep.

 _It would be so easy._

She has her own lightsaber now. It would be a quick and compassionate death.

 _Killing Kylo Ren won't stop the dark side of the Force,_ a voice inside of her urges.

It wouldn't even end the First Order's current crusade to annihilate the last of the Republic scattered along the fringes of the galaxy. It wouldn't bring back the Jedi or change the fate of the Hosnian system.

 _But killing Kylo Ren would ease the pain of sitting in the pilot's seat of the Millennium Falcon that shouldn't belong to me._

It would be closure.

Silently she pulls her lightsaber from its sheath. Wrapping both hands around it, her fingers itch to ignite. Any noise would alert him, but she could open it aimed right into his gut, exactly how he killed –

 _No._

 _This is Han Solo's son. He is Leia's son._

And he is awake.

"I knew you wouldn't do it." He mocks, expression calm.

"Who's to say I still won't?" She sneers.

He props himself up on an elbow. "If you wanted to kill me, you'd have done it already."

In the light, his scar is even more severe, snaking across his eyebrow and cheek down to his upper lip.

She jabs the hilt into his stomach. "Are you willing to bet your life on that?"

His eyes dart down to her new lightsaber. It's quick, but she catches his face twist into something she can't read. "You've been training. If you're anything like your teacher, I know you wouldn't murder a defenseless man."

"I would argue that you are anything but defenseless."

Kylo Ren shrugs, nonchalant. "Perhaps. I would also be willing to bet that you couldn't murder me at all."

A short bark of laughter escapes Rey before she could stop it. "I would revel in killing you."

"Killing me, maybe. But murder? That's not the path of the light side." He draws himself up fully to sitting position, so that they are now eye to eye. "That's not who you are."

She draws back, but keeps her lightsaber before her. "You know nothing of who I am."

"Don't I?" He swings his feet, in boots, over the edge of the alcove and draws himself up to his full height. He easily towers over her. "You seem to forget, I trained with Luke Skywalker for years longer than you. I know what he preaches to his new padawans about the path of the light."

He steps into her lightsaber, and Rey has no choice but to rock backwards on her heels to accommodate him.

"And, I've been inside your head." His gloved fingers ghost near her temple. "Despite left nearly to die on Jakku, and spending all of the life you can remember alone, you've never even taken a life to survive."

As he speaks, Kylo Ren's mouth twitches upwards into a seductive smile. It's small at first, but he learns forward and it overwhelms his face. "You're not here to kill me. So why are you here? You're most definitely acting on your own."

Rey feels a chill run to her toes that she unsuccessfully tires to push away.

"Your Master wouldn't send someone so precious to him and the Resistance, alone, into the heart of my ship."

"I am acting alone." It's pointless to lie, but it doesn't come out as confidently as Rey aimed for. "But you're wrong. I did come here to kill you."

She swallows, pushing forward her chin. Rey doesn't let their height difference intimidate her.

"You murdered your own father – a man who loved you without reservation. I was there. I saw you trick him into believing that you could be saved. And I overheard the General and your father before we left. You were everything to them. They rarely saw each other once you'd turned, did you know?"

Greif flashes on his face. It seems obvious to Rey that Kylo Ren doesn't modulate his facial expressions throughout the day under the mask. He's surprisingly easy to read.

"Therefore I see nothing wrong with killing you – even murdering you. I'm not disillusioned with any hope left for you, like the General is. Like my Master. I will not stand idly by and watch your actions kill more of the family you don't want, the family who has opened their arms to me."

Rey is shaking at this point. "You saw in my head months ago that I was alone, and lonely. You saw my desperation to fit in. That was all true – and now I will not let you ruin the happiness I've found."

He cocks his head at her, and takes the tiniest of steps back so that his heels hit the wall. With palms upwards, he offers himself to her. "Then do it."

"What?" She says stupidly.

"Kill me. Your reasons are just." He looks down at her, unguarded. "I am a monster. I have done the unthinkable to you and turned against a family you would give anything to have. You cannot see my actions in any other way than in evil. You cannot fathom how I could kill Han Solo, how I could murder a man in cold blood."

"We're very similar, you and I, Rey." He drops his hands to his sides. "You've gone against orders on a misguided quest for revenge for a man, the first man, with whom you found a human connection."

"He was your father!"

Kylo Ren roars, pushing Rey backward bend over the desk with a combination of the Force and his hand around her neck. The other hand holds her lightsaber away from the two of them.

"And now he is _dead_." He seethes through his teeth. "But here you are, about to kill a sleeping man and forever taint yourself away from the pure ways of a Jedi Knight for a man you barely knew."

He pushes harder onto her throat. It's uncomfortable to breathe, and the edge of the desk is digging into her ribs.

"Do you want to know why I left to the dark side? I was sick of the self-righteousness of the Jedi and especially of Luke Skywalker. Everything you do you justify to be morally right – simply because you're following the path of the light."

Kylo Ren leans into Rey's neck, whispering into her ear. "You cannot come here, Rey, alone and drunk with the power of murder, the passion you have to revenge Han Solo and expect to call yourself different than me."

He stops the pressure on her neck, but keeps his hand there. She gasps as air whooshes into her lungs.

He continues on. "I sense the beginnings of conflict in you. You have temptations – " He inhales at the base of her neck, and his lips graze there. Rey cannot stop the traitorous shudder that rips through her body. " – not unlike those that I had when I was a padawan. And like you, I had many questions about the Jedi. It was not until I left did I fully realize the extent of my powers and the range of abilities in the Force."

Rey isn't sure where she finds the air to speak. "I am not tempted." It comes out less than a whisper.

Kylo Ren pulls his face back, but keeps her pinned down. His eyes smolder, black. It's seductive, and Rey finds herself unable to look away.

"You're an awful liar. You may not be tempted by the dark side of the Force - " He holds her eye contact while using his boot to slot a leg between hers. His hip grinds downward, gently at first, but quickly he's putting most of his weight forward onto her. Rey's body begins to betray her, as the white-hot fury boiling inside her burns out by desire.

"But you are tempted by me."

She doesn't know how this situation got so out of hand.

They're hanging on a precipice, and they're both going to fall. Rey feels the drop of her stomach fall out from beneath her just like when her X-wing dives downward.

"Tell me, Rey, that this – " he rolls his hips again, bringing their bodies in full contact. " – doesn't _tempt_ you." He bites the edge of her ear lobe. Rey jumps underneath him. "I'll let you go, walk away from here as if this little attempted _murder_ never happened."

She _burns_.

"Tell me, Rey." He's taunting her silence.

"I…can't."

He pulls back and a feral smile splits across his face. Their eyes lock and she feels something within her snap and they're surging together at once – he's pushing her further up the table and she's arching up into his heat.

She drops her lightsaber. Her head knocks something off the table with a bang. Kylo doesn't stop, and he devours her lips with his. They're not being gentle, each fighting to dominate the other's mouth with teeth and tongue. He pulls down her robe to her shoulder and sinks his teeth into the flesh of her neck. It's going to leave a mark and she's going to have to hide it –

He bites again, and she cries out.

Rey hooks her ankles together at his back with both hands entangled with his dark curls at the top of his head and pulls, canting her hips forward. She can feel all of him, a hard line against her womanhood. He switches from her neck back to her mouth, and only then does she realize when it gets silent that she was moaning.

His hands fly to her hips and he joins her in rhythm as they rock together. Everything about him is in absolutes, his passion all-encompassing. She's drowning in him.

Kylo Ren groans, and he's instantly standing up. She feels cold for a split second before he's hauling her with him off the desk and leading her to the bed. The alcove is large enough for the two of them, with enough clearing between the bed and the ceiling.

He drops her roughly on the mattress. She scoots backwards as he crawls on the bed to join her; Kylo smiles wolfishly in the dim lighting.

Now kneeling, Rey takes him back his collar and starts to pull at the material of his shirt to undress him. He follows her, pulling expertly at her Jedi robe to undo it. She gets his gloves and shirt off and runs her hands over his flat, hairless chest. He's much paler than she is. It's an exotic look – his brightness, in comparison to the black he prefers.

He undoes her top and her breasts are bare. He gently cups both of her in his hands, running his fingertips along her nipples. His tongue licks at her flesh before, without warning, he bites her nipple between his teeth. Rey hisses and drags her nails across his back.

He's too far away for friction between their bodies, and she feels her hips rocking forward on their own volition, trying to find release. He must sense her want, because he Force-pushes her onto her back, and presses his body to hers.

Kylo kisses her once on the lips before descending downwards, spending time with her breasts before mouthing down her stomach. Kylo sits up, and Rey whines at the loss of his mouth before she realizes he's quickly removing her boots and pulling at her pants.

The second she is naked he stops. He takes her in, the soft glow of her sun-kissed skin, the slight curve of her hips and the flatness of her belly. Her hair askew on his pillow fans her face.

Rey feels a blush invade her cheeks at his stare.

"You tempt me, and I am not ashamed." He says, honestly.

He dips his head, and begins to devour between her legs. She cannot control the breathy moans that escape her lips, the utterances of his name. He runs his tongue up and down and twirls it around her. He drags both of his palms from her knees to her center, adding a finger, and then two.

She's reaching towards her orgasm alarmingly fast. She suspects he's using the Force to hold her on the edge for quite some time, varying the speed that his fingers enter and leave her and the circles he's drawing with his tongue. She presses her hands to the back of his head, urging his face closer to her.

She feels a mental nudge and her orgasm is yanked out from underneath her. Her whole body seizes with the force of it and her core clamps down on his fingers.

She forces her eyes open to see his reaction, and he's staring wondrously down at her. His mouth shines she wants nothing more than to taste herself on him.

Rey pulls herself up to sitting with his fingers still inside her, her walls still clamping down with the force of her orgasm. She holds both hands on his face and opens up his mouth with her own. He tastes salty, of her, and he groans as she licks into his mouth.

He removes his fingers from her and works to undo his pants and boots. He's no longer as polished with his movements, and there's an air of desperation to his speed. They're headed downward together, falling, and there's no time to catch her breath before Kylo is back on her.

He's naked and thrusting at her entrance. Rey rolls the two of them over in the small space of the alcove and breaks their kiss. He sees her goal is and he pushes her head as she crawls down his body.

He's thick and his tip is already weeping. She swallows as much of him down as she can in one go, and he snaps his hips forward in surprise, making her gag.

He gently touches the side of her neck in apology.

She's reducing a master of the Knights of Ren to incoherency with her mouth. It's addicting, and she ignores the warning bells in her head at how seductive the feeling is.

 _This is the power he's talking about._

It's clear that he's on the edge. Rey watches his eyes snap to the ceiling, and with a deep breath he starves off his orgasm. He drags her up by her shoulders and she straddles him.

He looks into her eyes as he's poised to enter her. He's watching her, closely. She pauses instinctively, but Rey can't find an ounce of her own will to stop them from moving forward. She's doesn't want to regret this, and she's not going to feel guilty now.

Whatever this is – Rey won't pull away from it. All she needs to do is lower herself onto him and they'll be joined.

Kylo reaches out his hand, his thumb tracing her swollen bottom lip. "I want you. Let me have you."

She shudders, and sinks down.

They both moan aloud, too overwound. He's on the edge already, and every roll of her hips sends him gasping. He's surprisingly vocal with grunts and pants, his fingers digging into the curve of her hips.

Without warning, he flips her over, pulling back to move an ankle over his shoulder. He kisses her calf in a bizarrely sweet gesture, before snapping his hips forward. At the new angle, he's pushing her hips up off the bed with every stroke. She braces herself with both palms on the wall of the alcove

Rey screws her eyes shut, overwhelmed with sensory overload.

"Look at me." It's clearly an order, and Rey opens her eyes to look at the man above her. On his cheeks, the lightest dusting of pink and the sheen of sweat on his forehead show his exertion.

His eyes are pinned to hers, and she can tell he's memorizing every expression and line on her face. He drops her leg, and she entwines them at his back, pulling his face to her. She reaches her hands up to his face, caresses his cheek with one hand, and traces the snare of his scar with the other.

"Rey." He gasps. His hips stutter.

"Come for me." She whispers into his mouth, and he looses it, pulling from her at the very last second, bracing his elbows on either side of her head as he comes. His eyes shut, and his mouth wrenches open.

He's beautiful, she thinks then. She never stopped to consider that his face was almost pretty. He was speaking to her with such anger, and she responding in fear – that she never noticed anything beyond his mask.

He breathing evens out before opening he opens his eyes. For a moment, Kylo's face is completely open. She's unsure of the expression on his face, because his serenity is so out of place from what she's used to.

He's close enough to kiss, but she doesn't let herself move forward. Awkwardness begins to haze over the situation, and Rey finds herself fighting away from squirming.

Kylo's eyes track hers as she moves from his face to his lips. "You're still resisting what you desire." He moves forward, ignoring her unease, and draws her slowly into a kiss. It's lazy and sensual, and he lets it continue for several minutes before stopping. His hands trace softly around her naked body in silence.

"I will always put up this fight." They've fallen into something that she can't explain – every bit of her is screaming to curl up and _give in,_ to run away –

"I know."

"I will never give in to the dark side."

"I know." He says, and smiles. She knows he means it. "But you're stopped thinking in absolutes. It's not so easy to condemn me, when you're questioning the very same ideals that I did, that Darth Vader did before me. It's not weakness that turned me away form the light. It wasn't weakness that brought you here, with me."

He learns into her, so that she can no longer see his face as he speaks directly into her ear. "Your curiosity and your passion – they are your strengths. Through them, you will find the true path to the Force."

She's had enough. Her frustration boils over and wipes away her post-coital bliss. She rolls out from under him and he lets her go. He watches her, propped up on the bed unashamed of his nakedness as she collects her clothes and redresses.

He's not saying it, but Rey knows he thinks he's won whatever game they're playing. He's wrong, so very wrong about her. He's feeding her lines to sway her to his cause, and she feels unease settle into her stomach. Rey needs to get out of his ship – and fast.

"I _am_ going to kill you one day." She tells him, leaving him without turning back. He doesn't respond until she's nearly out the door.

"I'll look forward to it."

* * *

Can't go having one orgasm and Kylo becomes too good, now, can we? Nothing quite like bringing up the granddaddy in the pillow talk.

Leave me your feedback!

-RoseSauvage


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